


the act of holding on and letting go

by momcreep



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Break Up, But He Gets Better, Cheating, Eventual Levi/Eren Yeager, F/M, Getting Back Together, Hanji and levi are best friends, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Marriage, Rating May Change, Slow Build, Unhealthy Relationships, almost divorce, but he'll be okay, eren cheats on levi, eren is kind of a dick at first, levi forgives too easily, levi is a sad baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4374689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momcreep/pseuds/momcreep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i'll still be your flower if you’ll be my bee<br/>we can sit inside and wait for the spring<br/>just don’t make me sit through this winter alone<br/>i know i’m dead from the roots, i’m last seasons bloom<br/>i have nothing else to offer you, just the hole in my chest<br/>from where you’ve sucked me dry</p><p>eren and levi have one week to recover their broken marriage.</p><p>(on hiatus)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the act of holding on and letting go

**Author's Note:**

> heyo, this is just a lil thing i came up with while listening to flatsound's 'the act of holding on and letting go'  
> hence the title and summary  
> you should go check em' out if you're into indie music  
> i should probably be working on understanding levi but i have like half the main plot point chapters written and i cant figure out what to put in between

 

I don’t know when it began.

Perhaps summer? Early June, I think. When Eren had started coming home in the wee hours of morning. Smelling like cheap perfume, vodka and infidelity.  

We’ve been married for 7 years now.

It’s odd how time flies so fast. I remember walking down the aisle like it was just yesterday. God, I _wish_  it was yesterday. I remember how he had kissed me with such passion and carried me down the aisle, despite my protests- that’s just how he is. 

And I love him for that.

  
I don’t know what I did. To make him stop loving me, _caring_. I miss the old Eren.

The one who doesn’t party or drink or kiss blonde girls in front of our apartment door without knowing I’m looking through the peephole.

I miss when he would come home right after work and wrap his tan arms around my waist. I miss when he would kiss my neck and whisper I love you into my ear as if he only had one last breath to take. 

The new Eren doesn’t do any of these things.

  
I hear him come inside. It’s 6:04 am.   
I saunter up next to him and help him take his coat off. I can’t help but notice the red lipstick mark on his white collared shirt, and the deep purple hickey on his neck.  
“What’s for breakfast, Levi?” The words spill off his lips like he hasn’t kissed another. Like everything is normal.

“Pancakes and eggs, darling.” I say, as he sits down at our small blue table.  
I set our plates out and take a seat myself. He eats and doesn’t say a word until he has finished.

“Levi,” he says as he gets up. “Yes?” I stand and put my hands on his chest, knowing what’s coming.

He puts two large hands on my waist and buries his face into my hair. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know,” I tell him. Somehow there are no tears flowing from my eyes. I want to cry, but I can only scream inside my head.

“I’m sorry.” No. No. _No._  Don’t you fucking _dare_ apologize. 

“Don’t be.” I lie. He should be sorry. He should be so _goddamn_ sorry that he gets down on his knees and fucking _praises_  me. 

“I’m sorry.” He says again, pressing his face deeper into my hair. “I’m sorry it had to end like this.” I can feel wet droplets on my head. He’s crying. _How cunning,_  I think.

“Yeah. So am I.”

He leans up and looks me, tears still falling from his teal eyes. I look back up at him and wipe them away with a pale finger.   
“Tears don’t suit you, Bright Eyes.”

He chuckles at the old nickname.

“How about..We do something, one last time. One for the road.” He asks.  
  
And I agree.

 

 

* * *

  
  
He makes love to me, except this is an old love. One that was never meant to last.   
I feel him come inside me, and he falls over next to my lithe body with a thump. I bury my face into his chest. He holds me for the first time in while, but this will also be the last time.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
When I wake up, he’s gone.

I sit up in our- _my_ bed, and look out the window. The sun is shining. It’s 10:04 am.

I dial Hanji’s number.

 ****  
.

******  
**

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY,  
> this is NOT levihan!!! NOT levihan!!!  
> they are my brotp i headcanon that no matter how much levi is mean to her they are best friends and she is always his shoulder to cry on  
> i may or may not make this a multichapter that will involve eren and him reconnecting LIKE i have so many ideas holy shit  
> ok yeah its gonna be a multichapter but only like 7?? I think it would be fitting
> 
>  
> 
> UPDATE: guys i really don't see what's so confusing about this  
> this is only the first chapter  
> lots of things are to be explained later  
> calm


End file.
